first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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