You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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