Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
