I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
