I love black thongs
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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