just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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