So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think my mom watched the whole time
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
