The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
