"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
