Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.