I hate your face
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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