Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
