all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
