Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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