He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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