"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
