I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
