He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
