Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
