the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize