You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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