I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
