her vagine was all disorganized.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
