YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf