I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.