your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential