he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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