I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
