This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
