She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
