I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
