i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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