It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
