Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I showed him my bush... on skype.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
