i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
