do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
