dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
