I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
