he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
