when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
