dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
