If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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