writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
