Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
