About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
