My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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