Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
