have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
