I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She's the barista slut.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
