oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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