you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
