I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
