Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
