VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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