shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
