I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
