he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
