speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
