like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
