My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
pop tarts are not kleenex
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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