i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
