people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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