Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
