Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
