So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I supernannyed him into submission
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
