Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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