Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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