And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize